David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
