I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
