I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
