Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
