We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
