u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
