The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
