I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
