He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize