i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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