I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
