I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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