i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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