i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize