we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
