I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
