Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
