what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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