time to smoke my breakfast
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
