So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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