is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
