STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
