It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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