I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
