u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
