There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
