i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
