How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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