The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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