OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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