wakey wakey hands off snakey
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
