I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think people are normalizing furries
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