I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
