ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
