He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
