Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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