If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize