i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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