Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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