Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
