Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
