I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
