It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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