Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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