I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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