I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
