Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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