Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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