I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
