Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Small penises have feelings too.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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