I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Never joke about your clitoris.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
