wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
