i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
