Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.