Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  what?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn

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  (612): i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn (952): what? (612): i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn http://tfl.nu/vdma
  Replies (29) Good night (7708) Bad night (798)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people

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  (203): I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people http://tfl.nu/t9vq
  Replies (39) Good night (701) Bad night (4818)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...

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  (803): For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer... http://tfl.nu/txcz
  Replies (20) Good night (4483) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.

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  (425): Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away. http://tfl.nu/ldh5
  Replies (6) Good night (3820) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub

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  (978): For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub http://tfl.nu/5zqx
  Replies (5) Good night (4622) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.

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  (601): It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed. http://tfl.nu/yhbt
  Replies (15) Good night (1245) Bad night (5480)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.

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  (305): I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having. http://tfl.nu/q5k9
  Replies (17) Good night (3676) Bad night (1402)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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  (814): I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone. http://tfl.nu/qodf
  Replies (2) Good night (2167) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.

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  (717): It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/8d6y
  Replies (8) Good night (3432) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.

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  (434): It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me. http://tfl.nu/2yad
  Replies (12) Good night (4169) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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  (304): The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke. http://tfl.nu/dnme
  Replies (9) Good night (2053) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.

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  (847): Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating. http://tfl.nu/al19
  Replies (10) Good night (2132) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom

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  (917): no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom http://tfl.nu/ipdy
  Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month

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  (515): I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month http://tfl.nu/wdkb
  Replies (9) Good night (1112) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?

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  (662): Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you? http://tfl.nu/ngi1
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (184)

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