I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY