hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?