Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi

  (214): View more from Texas

  ok, stay where you are, be there soon

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  (508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi (214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon http://tfl.nu/1y99
  Replies (55) Good night (2642) Bad night (880)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.

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  (757): Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you. http://tfl.nu/6xm5
  Replies (54) Good night (7098) Bad night (798)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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  (347): i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had http://tfl.nu/siqb
  Replies (11) Good night (3196) Bad night (1674)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

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  (903): All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news. http://tfl.nu/pxui
  Replies (10) Good night (2062) Bad night (1274)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.

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  (727): when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test. http://tfl.nu/l54a
  Replies (6) Good night (3449) Bad night (1052)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.

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  (908): but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before. http://tfl.nu/ra7g
  Replies (20) Good night (5227) Bad night (1049)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it penis luge time yet?

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  (603): Is it penis luge time yet? http://tfl.nu/x21x
  Replies (8) Good night (1675) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

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  (978): Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea. http://tfl.nu/15nf
  Replies (8) Good night (869) Bad night (1491)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.

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  (906): I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day. http://tfl.nu/pyr7
  Replies (9) Good night (1570) Bad night (542)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you

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  (602): All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you http://tfl.nu/oj33
  Replies (7) Good night (1941) Bad night (616)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.

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  (515): Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her. http://tfl.nu/0xnp
  Replies (3) Good night (388) Bad night (843)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?

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  (815): I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/uotd
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (521)
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  (845): View more from New York

  There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!

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  (845): There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here! http://tfl.nu/1ha2
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian

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  (+44): I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/g2ut
  Replies (3) Good night (1039) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day

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  (206): I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day http://tfl.nu/hum6
  Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (317)

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