Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!

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(413): no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo! http://tfl.nu/f58l

Replies (4) Good night (2115) Bad night (2732)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy

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(586): Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy http://tfl.nu/kc5d

Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (474)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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(802): I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic." http://tfl.nu/uvkh

Replies (60) Good night (5237) Bad night (1027)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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(717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl

Replies (10) Good night (5081) Bad night (715)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

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(609): You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics. http://tfl.nu/ug0s

Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (3512)
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(254): View more from Texas

People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...

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(254): People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga... http://tfl.nu/n729

Replies (12) Good night (5474) Bad night (855)
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(404): View more from Georgia

What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

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(404): What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/w7nv

Replies (18) Good night (4616) Bad night (1244)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

This is going everywhere on the internet.

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(505): TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES (1-505): This is going everywhere on the internet. http://tfl.nu/lcfu

Replies (8) Good night (3164) Bad night (952)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?

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(267): There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn? http://tfl.nu/pvdb

Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (968)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate

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(302): Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate http://tfl.nu/9c8c

Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (410)
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(410): View more from Maryland

after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.

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(410): after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy. http://tfl.nu/riha

Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (351)
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(585): View more from New York

I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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(585): I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in. http://tfl.nu/1xha

Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (536)
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(425): View more from Washington

I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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(425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv

Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (334)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.

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(+44): There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room. http://tfl.nu/hg5g

Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (382)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order

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(978): ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order http://tfl.nu/9x9t

Replies (0) Good night (164) Bad night (446)

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