Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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