Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
