You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
