I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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