You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
