TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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