seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
