put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize