dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
